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muddled thoughts my head is really fuzzy these days. a lot of people have been telling me that i'm talking in circles or they don't know what i'm thinking - and that freaks me out - but i honestly am having a hard time evaluating things lately. maybe i've been analyzing too much and those brain cells are revolting now. makes me think of a quote from my favorite movie: "sometimes i think so hard and i think so long and it's so tiring..." but i have really big things i'm trying to figure out right now - and damn is that hard to do when my brain is in the mush state it's currently in. i'm deciding on this new career path and i have no idea if it's really gonna make me happy but my brain just keeps plodding along because it's a direction and any direction looks good right about now. and then there's my whole personal situation where i'm trying to figure out where a certain relationship is going. can you all tell that obviously i'm talking about someone who reads my diary? it's weird cause most of the people i talk about don't know my diary so this adds a new dimension, a new twist... do i continue with my blunt and open appraisal of all parts of my life, including revealing how i feel about that someone who's reading this right now? or do i turn all generalistic and innuendo-filled, merely alluding to my situations like i've been doing? damn, another situation i can't fathom to think about. why won't my brain analyze any more? i know i haven't had much time alone lately - and that's gotta be affecting me, but even when i am alone, i can't think - my brain just turns all blank and quiet - a big rarity for me - and i can't force it to figure out things. i think i need to restart my efforts in planning that solo-trip i was thinking about. a while ago, i started trying to reserve a good camping site for sometime in july but my couple favorite places where full and i got deterred. i think it's time to try again.
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