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feeling my way towards better 2007-05-22 4 11:20 p.m. so, not the best day. had many things on the agenda. started with: 11am oil change appointment. and just kinda got stuck there, right off the bat. found out my "new" car has 4 bald tires and a torn axle boot. sonofabitch. oh sure i've got a spare $800 for all that. spent the day shuttling between mechanic and car dealership to figure out who the hell was gonna fix it and who the hell was gonna pay for it (answer: my preferred mechanic, and, fuck, me) don't even care. that was today. it is now tonight. i'm better. while flipping through the tv channels found that fun random yoga class on at about 9:30pm and got up and did it. felt a lot calmer and more balanced afterwards. (oh and watching season finales - so fucking wonderful for completely taking you out of your body and making you forget the world for an hour or two.) i've now put up some random fun pics along my computer keyboard. it started with just my beatles vegas pic (i finally put my travel album together and the beatles one made me smile so i put it on my keyboard). but then i decided to scrounge through some pics and find some other happy ones - i've got a few from broadcasting school, one from high school, one from when my best friend got married. they all make me smile, and seeing them all staring up at me perks me up every time i sit down at my pc. there are moments, seconds really, where i just let the universe take over. i just give up control and worry and freaking out, and just say "hey, you take the reigns for a while - i trust you to get me where i'm going, to give me what i need, to take care of things for a while, cause obviously right now i'm not handling it all so well." and only then, in those rare fractions of time, can i take a deep breath and feel relaxed and free and happy. and i wish i could do that more, cause it feels so much better than the tension and anxiety and fear. previous - next