newest older profile guestbook e-mail dgdesigns host

an autumn evening 2007-10-25 4 9:21 p.m. the moon out there is huge and glowing tonight. it's finally getting autumn-cool. this global warming shit is really messing up my inner thermostat. i usually start going out more when it starts getting colder - like a reverse-hibernating-bear - the cooler weather makes me happier. but the muggy nights of last week were making me bitchy. i'd take my evening walks but just not enjoy them all that much. i like the crispness to the air like tonight's. my night walks have been helping my head. like usual. i'm glad i picked them back up. they've been helping my body too i think - down a couple pounds and my gut's been fairly happy as well. knock on frikken wood. my family is still a disaster. my 96 year old grandfather who still stubbornly lives alone and refuses help fell in the middle of the night a few days ago and broke three ribs. he's been in the hospital in severe pain and yet is still refusing to give up his independence. being as he's in arizona and we're way the fuck over here, there's not much any of us can really do for him. my aunt and uncle who live two blocks from him can barely help themselves, nevermind a cranky senior citizen, so what does the family do? you'd think perhaps we'd brainstorm solutions and all sit down and work it out together, but you'd be wrong to think that. all we do is bitch aboutit all and remain paralyzed and impotent. ah my family, it's like a sinking ship i never flee from. my mother's hair is finally starting to grow back. every time she takes off the wig, i'm kinda jarred by its fuzzy new presence, kinda like 'holy fuck, she is really done with chemo, she is on her way to real life again.' she's still intolerable, but at least i can be thankful that her health may be returning. i continue to have serious thoughts about moving out in the spring. with my next fin-aid disbursement, it's possible i could swing a crappy bristol rent. i dangle it out there in front of myself like a carrot to constantly keep my hope of indepence and disconnect alive. i have my annual csca conference tomorrow at which i have to totally network my ass off if i have any shot at landing a job in the oh-so-near-future. i hope i can be my most pleasantly pleasing self. these are all rather disjointed and rambling, but ask me if i care... previous - next