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rediscovered old lifehouse 2008-01-18 4 5:19 p.m. "i'm finding my way back to sanity again, though i don't really know what i'm gonna do when i get there..." it's like a different type of sanity these days. filled with prime fucking frustration and catastrophes around every bend. yet a weird sense of maturity and confidence and evolution. i looked in the mirror the other day and almost saw that almost-30-year-old woman. "this is over my head but underneath my feet..." i am on my own. going on 3+ weeks now. i've barely spoken to my mother and stepfather a handful of times since then. my place is far from perfect, not with the horrific stench of cigarrettes wafting upstairs from my landlord and his family downstairs, but i'm dealing. that's what i do - i deal. deal with the non-working landline, my broken cell phone, my car's weird glitches, being completely dismissed at work. but yes, i deal. that's what i know how to do. and yet there's a weird settling going on inside me. i feel like i'm coming to terms with who i am alone vs. the me i was in forced proximity to those i didn't want to be near. now the people i'm near, i choose. and when i'm alone, i choose myself, and i'm trying to get to know this girl with one foot in adulthood. previous - next