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counting down to goodbye 2008-11-10 4 11:23 p.m. "if you ever feel like something's missing, things you never understand little white shadows sparkle and glisten part of a system - a plan maybe you'll get what you wanted maybe you'll stumble upon it everything you ever wanted in a permanent state maybe you'll know when you see it maybe if you say it you'll mean it and when you find it, you'll keep it in a permanent state..." (coldplay) not counting the holiday off tomorrow, i'm t-minus 3 days and counting of when i lose my job and leave my school, my learning ground, my home, and most importantly the students i've come to think of as my friends, kids who've been my education and introduction into my career, and adults who've been my mentors and eventual peers. i feel like i'm spiraling out into the black hole again. feel like things are unraveling and i can't keep them together. everything is just hanging by frays and edges. and yet my mind is in this numb state of shock, not feeling anything really at all besides sadness. worry, oddly, so far out of realm. i have no idea how things could possibly work out from here, yet somehow the worry gremlin in my brain is silent, as if he knows i need this quiet right now. i really don't know where i'll go from here... previous - next