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medicate myself i'm not quite sure i really get anti-depressant meds. why do they have to fuck with your head so much? i know - that's a ridiculous statement - they're drugs and that's what they do, but i ponder at how much else they seem to affect. i'm staring at a trial pack of lexapro on my table and really wondering if it's the right choice for me. first off i'm confused cause it says it treats both depression and anxiety disorder. to me, those are opposites - one person needs to be perked up, the other needs to be mellowed out. and since i'm ridiculously paranoid, i went online to research this drug and find out what others have thought about it. psychcentral forums have not made me feel all warm and cozy. some people reported it gave them manic type energy akin to adhd. others said it gave them headaches (yay - my favorite) and an inability to have an orgasm (lovely - so i get no fun with my depression - great). another person said it made them really stable - "no peaks and no valleys." granted, i definitely want less in the line of valleys, but i'd like to hang on to my peaks. i still have moments where i can pop in titus and laugh out loud. all i really need is the kick in the pants to get started - that nudge to move me in the right direction - to get me up outta bed - to get me doing things that are gonna make me happy - to help me on this path of new identity formation. i thought drugs were the way, but now... i have no idea. what else is new? |