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let me up, i've had enough part duh
so i'm angry. really fucking pissed off. finally. and i'm trying to express it so it doesn't fester and eat me up like it's always done in the past - trying to throw pillows and scream and cry and rage and listen to angry music. but the problem is - i have no one to direct my anger at. i'm pissed off with the universe. i'm so tired of being slighted, so tired of being screwed over, passed by and disregarded. i needed that job. everyone said there would be an opening next year. everyone said they wanted me. and now i learn they've only posted it internally and a few candidates from other schools have popped on the radar out of nowhere. if they like any of those people, they will never even post it externally. i will never even get a chance to show my pretty face there again and remind them how i worked my ass off for them for almost two years. i want so badly to go back to that school. i know i can do a good job there. i've just been hoping in the back of my mind that the stars will finally align for me instead of against me and i would get that job all set for next august, then i could just muddle through the next couple months somehow, knowing i would finally have some sense of stability and security. |