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dealing with the nighttime i hate being alone at night now. especially when it's raining. i'm so tired of being alone. isn't 31 years enough? haven't i paid my dues? don't i get someone to lean on now? a shoulder to rest my head on? someone's hand to stroke my hair and soothe my mind with pointless platitudes about how everything's gonna be alright? the boy and i have so much individual stress going on in our own lives that we can't even be there for each other in hours like this, hours of need, where comfort is warranted. i miss my stepdad - he used to say "everything's gonna work itself out" with such calm certainty that i was convinced utterly immediately. i do not feel like everything is going to be alright. and in the dark of night, with nothing but my thoughts and the rain and wind outside, things look pretty bleak. i need a new cat friend. things always looked better when i was petting a feline friend and hearing those sweet purrs of simple satisfaction. |