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setting a deadline and pondering love 2009-06-22 4 10:44 p.m. so i'm giving myself one more week of limbo. the counselor i used to work for called last week and said he was going "to push for an interview" for me. in theory, school ended last week so interviews would perhaps be this week. so i will allow myself this week to wait and see. i will strive to be positive, envision myself getting an interview, see myself procuring a job all week... and then force myself to get off my frikken ass and go do something with myself after that. i will make myself get up in the morning; i will make myself exercise; i will find myself some new friends and new passions to stimulate my brain; i will make myself find a job - any crappy job will do - and start turning my life around. cause i'm not loving myself right now, and that needs to change. whether i get the job or not, things need to change. if i'm not to be a counselor right now, so be it, but i'm not gonna be this anymore. on an ending randomness, i watched jon&kate tonight and cried. it kills me to hear them talk about how their children are their number one priority. as a child of divorced parents, let me tell you, that terminology just makes a kid feel like a chore, an obligation, something the parents struggle through and do "the best they can" which is always a crappy cop-out. besides, in my opinion your marriage should be your number one priority - your kids came from that union so it should essentially be the most important thing in your life. if you can fix that, the kids will be taken care of as well. but it truly looks like they've just fallen out of love with each other. all they see when they see each other is "the father/mother of my children" which i think is a fucking horrible term, cause it means the love is gone, and this causes my heart to ache. what a sad sad state love is in lately. is there ever really any proof of long-lasting eternal love? i yearn to see that because i think it would give me more faith in the world again. previous - next