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time to get going
2009-07-05
4 7:11 p.m.

i'm a mess. i did not want to be like this the night before my interview. my one and only interview. but i am, so it is what is. i don't know what's the matter with me - i'm exhausted for no reason, my back is rebelling against my body and has been sending excruciating pain to my brain for the last three days straight, and i can't get motivated to finish prepping for my interview. i want this job so bad - not only due to how much i loved it there and felt comfortable and confident and safe there but because it's pretty much my only option before i give up and take crap work. yea, there's no way the interviewers are gonna catch that hint of desperation. the hardest part is that i'll know two of the people interviewing me - they either want me or they don't - and they actually already offered it to somebody else before (who turned it down) so that rattles me, makes me think they really don't think i can handle this. which means i gotta prove i can. i have no idea how to do this. none. i have lost faith in myself. my confidence is out the window. so maybe i just need to give it up to the universe - either i'm meant to get this job, or i'm not. in either case, i'll deal. that's what i do.
"it's time to move on, time to get going, what lies ahead i have no way of knowing, but under my feet baby, grass is growing, it's time to move on, time to get going..." (tom petty)

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